Ms. MO’s Mad Mad World

My friend over at A Touch of ‘Tude is jotting down some deployment tips. One came to mind yesterday while I was sitting next to my daughter folding socks. I was actually folding a pair of Maverick’s socks he left in the hamper during R&R. R&R was about six weeks ago. I don’t like washing all of his clothes at once after he leaves. I realize that some do and just want to get it over with. I like to do it a little at a time because it feels like he’s some what home. Or rather once I run out of the things to wash he might be home and then I can yell at him for leaving more dirty clothes lol.

Another thing my friend said she does is put one of his shirts on a pillow or teddy bear to sleep with. She, like me, enjoys her soldiers bottled scent along with his own natural one. So no clean shirts for us. I am always afraid of sleeping with the shirt because I don’t want the scent to wear off or my own replaces his. So I keep Maverick’s old stinky shirt, lol, on the back of my bed. So when I need to I just hug it with my bear and put it back before I fall asleep. Just before he comes home I will wash the shirt and hang it back up.

It’s funny how we all have our own little deployment rituals. I would enjoy reading more and remembering all the little things I do that I don’t even pay attention to. Like my late night, just before drifting off to sleep thank you to god for keeping him safe and keeping the girls and I safe. It is so automatic I barely notice I’m doing it.

Maverick and I were talking about G2 (age 11). I have more trouble with her than I do my other two. Her mouth sometimes gets out of control, she is disrespectful and will not do what she’s told. This has been G2 since she’s been very little. With Maverick being gone all the time I don’t have a whole lot of patience for her shenanigans. I have two others who also need attention and discipline.

When Maverick tells me things like I need to work with her, she needs special attention, be fair etc. all I hear is that I’m not doing a good enough job and he knows better than I do. Then, and I don’t say it, I think “Well Listen Here Buddy! Maybe if you weren’t gone all the time you could show me how easy it is and deal with it your damned self! Maybe I’m doing the best I can with what situation we’re in how about backing me up! Next time she pushes your buttons I will remind you to “be fair and give her special attention.”"

So there we have it. He wants to still be involved in parenting from thousands of miles away and I want to tell him to take his computer parenting and shove it… tee hee.

The fun times of a family going through deployment. We start by putting them (our spouses) on a pedestal, forgetting how irritating they can be, then R&R happens right when we were getting a routine and feeling somewhat ok, they leave again we break down again and right when our skin thickens back up they are home and we get a honeymoon period, reality sets in and all of a sudden the messes you wish you had to clean up because it would mean he was home irritates the crap out of you and then they come tumbling off the pedestal lookin’ all broken. I would like to hear their version. Maybe, not right now though, I’m not very receptive to it.

Things in the news I found needs attention:

Marine Leader: Need More Afghan Soldiers in Fight Against Taliban

Washington Times EDITORIAL: Rewriting economic history – The stimulus has made things worse:

NYC Muslims Push To Add Holidays To School Year

On to Ms. MO news . I take my girls to one of the pools on post. Last week I saw three guys come in, go to the snackbar and walk back with a beer. I kid you not. I was like :O Brilliant! I’m sure they have a limit on how many they will sell you. You know how the military regulates everything. I just like when they finally let adults act like adults. Not that I’m going to go order one, only if they had a margarita machine, then honey, I’m all over it. One frosty margarita under a shade tree, ohhh yeah! Anyway, just thought it was an interesting tidbit.

Maverick is about half done with the deployment. For this half he has internet in his room thanks to his roomate and of course Maverick no longer needing to work seventeen hour days. He actually has time to be online for a little bit before he goes to bed now. I don’t know if this is 100% good or not. The reason being is because I don’t know if R&R threw me off, seeing him on webcam is throwing me off and making me miss him more or it’s a nice fun emotional combination. I have a feeling it’s the latter. Either way it’s no fun.

One major thing it’s affecting is my riding. Before Maverick came home I was doing quite well. When he was home I was loping around and having a grand ol’ time. Now, I feel like I have no control, I’m nervous, frustrated and *sigh – ack!* weepy. I still ride, I do what needs to be done but it’s thrown off my groove. I need to get my groove back. Blah. My daughter, G1, has completely gone the opposite way and gained confidence. Ohhh to be 13 again.

A funny little thing, last night we were playing SingStar Country and I wanted to sing Blake Shelton’s “Home”. Well 2nd Daughter G has voiced a few times, while listening in the car, she didn’t like that song. However I like the song and am a fan of Blake Sheltons so that’s what I chose. I put it on and she says “Mommy I don’t like this song. I don’t want to hear some civilian whining about wanting to go home”. Oh my little Army Brat, I love her!

This morning I’m watching “Band of Brothers”. My usual “Days of Our Lives” isn’t on so that’s it for now. I need to get dressed and mail out this carepackage for my honey. Lots of coffee, creamer, donut sticks, to go coffee cups w/ lids and other various items. Maverick’s birthday is in a couple of weeks. I want to send him a fun b-day package. I need to look up ideas. Last year we had our friends over to BBQ, the girls and I got him an Ipod with a docking station. I would send him an Itunes card but the internet sucks over there and he really doesn’t have much access to a computer that can go on Itunes anyway.

I’m feeling really down today and I don’t even know if I have any readers any more, I have lost my blogging muse. I have actually lost all of my creative muses. All I can think of is the day Maverick comes home and is laying next to me in our bed. Somedays it’s hard to do the simple things. For a change of mood I leave you with Desdemona…

R&R was wonderful! It didn’t go too fast, of course it could have gone slower but overall it was perfect. We didn’t do all that much. We hung out at home, spent two nights at Lake Travis, rode horses together, ate out, saw “Land of the Lost” and reconnected. The reconnecting was the best part. Talking about what is important to us, reevaluating our goals and dreams. Maverick and I are in a great place right now. Deployments physically separate families however if you have a strong foundation nothing can come between you. That’s not to say that it wont be hard, only that it will not destroy you. I learned that from the last deployment, our first. It was such a hard time for me.

In horse news Big Daughter G had two playdays this past weekend. The first I have no idea how she did, it was done kind of odd, no age groups, the exhibitions were done after the main run which does not make sense. Exhibitions are done so you can fix mistakes you might have done, a signal given to the horse wrong, tack that might be feeling funny, why bother doing it after the fact? That doesn’t help anybody. It was frustrating, I wasn’t happy with the entire thing. It was good practice for her though. They had different patterns to run, so we’ll keep going just for practice alone. The greatest thing was Maverick got to see her run before he left the next morning.

Her Saturday playday was so much better. I really like the way Temple Longhorn Riding Club does things. They keep the grass mowed, big deal to keep bugs from attacking you. They have a snackbar, exhibitions are done before the main ride and they run by age group. Big “D.G.” placed second in barrels and straight away. She got a no time on poles due to her leaning and Tasha going around the poles. Tasha did what she was told though . Overall Big “D.G.” did very well and we’re so proud of her.

“Offensive”: Supervisor Removes Worker’s American Flag – I for one don’t see how displaying your own country’s flag is offensive. I mean it wasn’t an “I club baby seals and eat their eyeballs” flag. Holy crap when did being an American become offensive in our country? Makes me sick really!

In MO Life News R&R is just around the corner. Like really I am about a block away from it all I have to do is stand here and wait for the “ok to walk” to flash and I’m on my way to it. I need R&R probably as much as Maverick. For months all I have needed is a hug to make me feel better. For two weeks I will have even more than that. I can’t wait and May is dragging it’s ass. June is jumping at the bit to get here but May wont get the frick out of they way.

In other bit news … I haven’t rode in a while. Almost two weeks. I fully planned on riding today but it rained last night. The ground just dried out too. I didn’t ride yesterday. It was quite hot, Big Daughter G had homework to do and since taking care of the other two horses, dinner has been slacking. I started last week not going out until after dinner. My goal was to be kick ass by the time Maverick was home for R&R, but I guess I will have to be ok at riding. Oh well, I’m a five times better rider than I was before he left. He will just have to be impressed enough with that .

Speaking of riding, Big Daughter G had her first playday in a neighboring town. She won 2nd on barrels, 1st on the straight-a-way and 2nd on poles. We’re all very proud of her.

I was told this morning that I looked exhausted and ready for a break. That you can just see it on my face. I was like “oh no really” and the other lady chimed in and was like yeah you look tired. She didn’t even know me *cry*. I’m going to look like an old tired hag by the time this is over and I will just strip all the color from my hair, buy some sweat pants and house coats, pink slippers with the rubber soles and start smoking Pall Malls. I will look lovely and fit the part of tired lady uhhhh huh ughhh *cry*pout*snivel*snot*drool*

I believe I am going through that hard time of the deployment rollercoaster. The part where you go in the dark tunnel and crazy things jump out at you. Some you jump and scream when it pops out, others you startle a little and laugh and I think at one point you just go numb and can’t wait until the track curves and you get out of there. The end of the rollercoaster ride is the best. You wonder why you were so nervous, it wasn’t as high and as scary as you thought but really you are just ecstatic that it’s over. I’m in the creepy things pop out at you part. I am not ready and I’m cringing and damn near ready to scream. Not quite going to pee my pants, I think that comes in the second half after R&R. I just hope it doesn’t happen in public.

Desdemona the Fancy Rat.

The succubus has taken R&R from us again. With only seven days to go they decided we didn’t need it until later. This is exactly what happened last time. The wind is out of my sails and I feel the Bitter Army Wife coming to knock on the door and take over once again. She has been gone for nearly a year, but I see her peeking through the windows wanting back in to control things. I am doing my best to close the shades and not answer the door. She is quite persistent and does not like being ignored.

In horse related news I loped on Ben Saturday. I was told I did quite well. A lot better than the first time and that felt great! I was on cloud nine, until the phone call of course. This is going to turn into a pity party, I will spare you all.

Yesterday I learned to lope. According to everybody on and off the internet the key is to relax and roll your pelvis with the lope. Yeah ok, easier said than done. Seriously, it’s not that easy, at least for me, to relax. I am not discouraged though. I didn’t think I would get posting down but I have done quite well with that. With time I will get this down too. R&R is very close and I will have so much to show Maverick. Too exciting!!! .

This cowgirl thing is quite the obsession. Maverick even wanted to get me new boots for Mother’s Day and all I could think was the tack I could get for that much money… lol. A while ago I would have been Woo Hoo new boots, now I’m like ohhh I wanted a headstall and reins. I also want a saddle, for Big Daughter G of course . We could share. When I’m not using it, hee hee. Then after the tack, with saddle, the horse and then we’ll look at boots and big blingy belts. Mmmhmm.

Too excited about R&R, I’m jumping out of my skin.

Well hell, I had an entire update and now it’s gone. Oh well it was me complaining and saying what a bad mood I’ve been in lately and the big “D” coming up. Also it was about a huge lack of family support, which is making me more upset by the day.

I finally get my password all straight and then it eats my post. *sigh*, such as life.

I hope you all are doing better than I am.

~MO Out